Me and her

She sat next to me. She actually sat next to me! Flashback: The last time we first met was about a day before MYC. It was at church. I remembered her vibrant smile as she realised there was another architecture student of the same year as her. Frankly, I was smiling too. On the day of the conference, I honestly looked for her, trying very hard to remember her likeness. And when I found her, my heart leapt for joy. In my mind, I desperately find excuses to talk. Sadly, at that time, all I did was smile. Then came for the allocation of bible study groups. I was crushed when it turns out she's not in my group. Just when I thought it was a bad day, she was allocated to be in same manuscript study with me! I was excited to spend time with her. To talk to her. Eversince MYC, I always hoped that me and her have something to talk about. Usually, its all about architecture.

Well, me and her share alot in common. The one thing that stands out, is that we're both uncertain about our future in architecture. We both suck at the course and faced the dilemmas of dropping the course. Let me tell you, architecture is no walk in the park.

However, throughout all these dark days. She always light me up with her words. That's what happened today also, she shared her thoughts about life, about how she perceives her course, our course, as just a phase. She kept saying that she no longer she sees herself as the will-be successful architect, but as the faithful daughter of our Lord Jesus Christ. She truly is amazing. I find her beautiful as she places her identity in Christ. May God sustains her and continue remind me, through her, that He is the beholder of my destiny and, ultimately, my identity!

Friendly and inspiring people in the artistic industry

1. Adam Young

2. Vic Mignogna

3. Mark Crilley

The Forgotten ''Art''

As I thought my days are getting darker and more depressing, I stumbled upon this anime: Honey and Clover. I found it when I was looking for some inspiring shows, preferably something to do with architecture or design in general. This anime surprised me by having two characters who are involved with the field of architecture, one is working (Takumi) and the other is still studying (Yuuta).

The show starts off with Yuuta narrating and... surprise, surprise... he is a second year Architecture student, just like me! Furthermore, he kept monologuing about how uncertain he is about the future and gave an anology: if he ever cycled continuously, will he ever turn back? A deep and and relatable sentiment. Me and Yuuta share almost the same dilemma. How certain am I about the future, as I notice people around me knows exactly what they're gonna do?

It should be stressed that this anime is not just a love story. It's a story about life. People are constantly making choices, and those choices have consequences. 'Honey and Clover' reminds me that being around people is what makes life that tiny bit more interesting. Despite how irritating or weird your companions are, you should never take them for granted. Because one day, we will all leave them, regardless if it is by death or by some other means.

I'm still not done with this show, but one other thing I might add is this: people who are in design should never forget that they should see the world in a different lense, compared to the rest of humanity. It is through art that we can share those experiences with others. Like the little girl, Hagumi, once said: " I must work hard like I used to". Sure, I am facing so much setbacks, till it's almost impossible to see the glass half full. I am not giving up. If I have to repeat... even if I have to graduate late, I don't mind! I am determine to be trained as an architect and to be able to realise the dreams of my clients and show them the beauty of life through my work! Time to put back the 'art' into architecture.

When the going gets tough... don't give up!

Yeah! For the whole day I tried (TRIED!) to do my studio work but my efforts seems to be in vain. And usually when this happens, I gradually slip into depression. Sulking, hearing inner voices that discourages me from continuing my battle as an architecture student.

It is my goal this year that I will not let perfectionism take over my life. Instead, I should just let go and let my creative mind naturally come up with the solution. Focusing my attention on the simpler and happier aspects of this course. Sure, architecture is hard. But, I can't keep thinking that this course is the worst course in uni. Everyone around me is fighting their own battles. Everyone is living out their story and the story hasn't ended. It isn't fair if I give up now (unless I lose my sight or face some sort of physical disability).

Therefore, lets think about the brighter future, for I know who holds my tomorrow: GOD.

One of the most relatable slice-of-life anime

Currently, I'm watching an anime series entitled 'Lovely Complex'.  It tackles one of the most prominent issues that plagues society: insecurities regarding size. Sure, people usually say "appearances doesn't matter, all that matters is the heart". But, frankly speaking, can you imagine two people with huge height differences having their first kiss by the river? The answer would be a resounding 'no' (followed by a chuckle or two). Besides, it's no surprise considering how the media potrays the ideal man and woman. For guys, being short it's tough. Same said for girls who are tall.



Sigh~ My mind is blank at this point. I'll probably write a follow up entry after completing the series. By the way, it's a must watch anime!

Dryness of my existence

[For in much wisdom is much vexation, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow. ]

Reality is a lovely place, but...

The week passes by so quickly, and I soon have to face the second part of the semester. More homework, possibly more sleepless nights. Will this ever change? Can time ever be bought back?
Christ's coming was purposed by God for the glory of His Son. Every single decision that I make needs to reflect that thought: All for the glory of Christ! I'm so behind my work and it's all my fault, but I will not despair. I can't afford anymore time to be depressed. Like in the book of Ecclesiastes, there's a season for everything. As I live each day of my life, lest I must forget that I am also living in the hope that Christ is returning. Furthermore, I must also remind myself that my faith is continually put under various trials, like gold being refined by fire.
My favourite song writer once wrote: Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't want to be there. Hence, how I live my life should not be bound by earthly desires, instead I should place my hopes and imagination to the imperishavle inheritance that is kept in Heaven.

Favourite Animes

1. Fullmetal Alchemist
2. Midori Days
3. Ouran High School Host Club
4. Death Note
5. Fruits Basket
6. Black Jack

2012 FOCUS Church Camp

Full time ministry

As church camp entered its second night, I am challenged not just by the message of the talk by Charles Gajus, pastor of GFI (Gereja Focus Indonesia), but also from a short coffee table conversation. The main idea was on 'ministry'.The talk gave the listeners some examples of people who willingly abandon the luxury of home just to spread the Gospel. Each of those individuals had one in common, they were convicted of the Gospel message. How many people do you know who willingly GO OUT to tell the good news to those who really need it, despite oppositions?
Next, the coffee table chat, was on full time ministry. This struck a chord in me. I always struggled with the question of whether I should be in a full time ministry. My father has no idea about this, apart from knowing that I love learning about God. One important characteristic of my father is he is cautious. He always see not just the good of something but also the bad. He truly has set the example of how a christian should live. My father is now working in a part time ministry as a preacher at my local church at Malaysia. One of the few people who are responsible for the founding of the church. He often quotes the Apostle Paul whenever I question about ministry.
So, what's bothering me? Why am I perplexed? As my friend shared about his plans for the Gospel, all I could think about was 'how' and 'why'. As I reflect on my life, I realise that I have sacrificed my true passion for a noble one: Architecture.To be honest, I don't love architecture. I'm not into buildings. And yet, deep inside there's a desire to serve the my home. Despite wanting to reside comfortably in Sydney, I can't help but being slapped in the face with the truth: there are barely any men fit to lead the church. Worse, some can't even read or write! How can I sit here and enjoy when back home, leadership is severely lacking?
I am an introvert. Everytime I try talk to someone, I just couldn't seem to hold a conversation for more than 5 minutes. I'll just run out of topics to talk about. If I do have a topic, I can go on and on but WITH A PRICE. I feel so drained and don't feel like to talk with anyone. Resulting me becoming an anti social. I also usually mess up during speeches. I dont say what I wanted to say. Therefore, a common product of shyness. Bottomline, I have poor "social stamina". How am I to serve the church, not to mention lead?!
Introversion and shyness are not the only problems but I leave as that for time being. Dear Lord, I seriously need COURAGE and a SOBER MIND. Too much distractions right now!

The Devil's Workshop

There are times when I find myself in an empty state. When my head is just just a hollow shell with no sense of purpose. It's usually a sign I need to get OUT of this cave. Alright... I need to leave this computer. Otherwise, I will be caught doing some freaky stuff. I'm in dire need to reset my brain, because right now NOTHING INTERESTS me!
Argh ... signing off~

20 years has passed...

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